Some big news on a personal level thaaaaaat Aly and me have stated dating. I know, I know, I absolutely realise and appreciate that on paper it could maybe look really bad that I've taken in a woman in her hour of need only to end up hooking up with her. I'd be raising my eyebrow at that one too, if I'm honest. I get it. However, hand on heart, it was absolutely not like that in the slightest.
A bit of a recap for those of you at the back. So, not to tell someone else's story, but from my point of view at least I cannot sleep comfortably at night knowing when my friends are going through some bad shit, moreso if said person does not have any family or anyone to really look out for them. No doubt from my wannabe-nun-disposition, I just didn't want her to be stuck in her apartment on her own dealing with everything she's been going through, and that's genuinely the only reason I suggested she come and stay for a while, and come and stay she did.
But yeah, I obviously wasn't going to just throw her the PlayStation controller and fuck off out to get my jollies while she sat in a strange apartment, climbing up the walls from feeling like total crap, so we've spent a lot of time together hanging out and doing things. Aaaand the more time we spent together, the more things started to feel a bit... different? Like, when you realise you're looking into each other's eyes slightly longer than you were the week before? And you're sometimes awkwardly biting the corner of your lip when you talk to each other? Yeah, those kinds of cute, mushy, butterflies in the tummy-type things. So it's all been totally organic with no ulterior motives by either party. Just the serendipity of a couple of gals living with each other who ended up really getting the hots for each other.
Haha I mean, dios mio, when we went to my parents for Thanksgiving, in the kitchen whilst we were taking in dishes, my mom took me aside and said "mija, so how long have you two been together?" and she would NOT believe me when I said we weren't (which we actually weren't). My sister, la perra, also had the most shit-eating smirk looking at us the whole time. I was honestly sat feeling like my eyeballs were going to burn a hole through her stupid, greasy head. But yep, there you have it. At least that's the whole meeting the parents thing preemptively out of the way!
I mean we'd clearly started having feelings for each other but with everything that's been happening and then things taking a turn with Aly needing surgery and then the subsequent recovery we really held off of acting on anything - it would just not have felt appropriate. As things started picking up though, then... yeah, we were finally able to stop dancing around it, and there you go.
Am I oversharing? Probably. Am I being a bit braggy? Abso-fucking-lutely. But honestly, after how emotionally desolating this year has been, I think I've earned that, thank you. I mean, I actually feel happy for the first time in a lonnnng time. And not some kind of manic, or fake BPD illusion of happiness, just... warm, deep down, genuine, happiness. So yes, brag I absolutely shall.
Oh yeah, and PEN-15 also just brought out our Christmas b-side about me being happy everyone leaving me the eff alone at Christmas, huh? Yeah, gonna have to be taking that one back, too. That shows you, you dumb-ass Grincha.
But yeah, Christmas in a few days, and I am extremely happy at the prospect of not waking up staring into the void feeling utterly dead inside! Who'da thunk it?? A full-on Christmas freakin' miracle!
Please know that, wherever you are, you are very much loved, and I am sending much love to all my homies all around the world (Minä ymmärrän sinua, Suomi!).
From the gayest pair of gals in Detroit,
¡Feliz Navidad!
(*And full disclosure, this has alllll been shared with consent.)
