I hope that you, dear reader, have been safe and well.
It's been good seeing the protests this weekend, too. We all went down to Roosevelt Park yesterday. I just really hope the tide is finally turning against that fucking fascist orange turd.
In some hopefully good news, I feel like I might have broken through the recent, really bad, BPD patch. It's been EXTREMELY rough and, to be honest, everything has felt extremely bleak and pointless, but it suddenly feels like a gear inside has quietly shifted. Maybe getting back at work has helped? Maybe there's been some subconscious closure on things that had been breaking my brain? Who knows. Just hope that I'm not imagining it, though.
That said, whilst hibernating at home I haven't had the urge at all to be drinking. Despite this, I needed to travel to Chicago for work and OH MY GOD, walking past the bars in the airport, on the plane, passing any bars and liquor stores in Chicago, I was DYING to just have a drink. I don't know if it's an anxiety thing but honestly, what the fuck is even wrong with me?! I'm glad that I didn't, and then in some glitchy cosmic messaging, I stumbled on seeing a mention of Sober October (which my ADHD brain always forgets). I feel like something that might be programmable into my ADHD brain to hardwire as a blocker to stay off the booze.
On another positive note, I've been working on some lyrics. They have been specifically themed on my experiences with the various traits of BPD, though, so being that I'm not involving that in PEN-15 now I'm not sure where I'm going with them. But it's something, and maybe a form of therapy getting this stuff out from festering in my head?
Completed Ghost of Yōtei this morning. While I have generally enjoyed it for the most part, it did begin to fall into a similar vibe of other open world games that I find so dull and frustrating so I was actually glad for it to end. I'd also expected it to last me quite a lot longer than it did, so that's a bit disappointing, too. Still, such a hella beautiful game!
Donna's birthday last weekend was fun! With it being on a Sunday it stayed civilized and didn't descend into debauchery and carnage. Being that seemingly all of the good vegan restaurants downtown are closed on Sundays, Donna's mom cooked a metric shit-ton of food and we all ate ourselves into the absolutely best food comas. Vegan pizza and vegan Prebranac is definitely a deadly mix. Good times.
Now there's no more band birthdays until next year when it's... *drum roll* MY BIRTHDAY! Well, Suze's is only two days after mine (Taurus twins, yo!), but I still win on a technicality. Ugh, twenty-two, though. Fuck that.
Currently Listening To
Soundgarden - Down On The Upside
Nessa Barrett - BANG BANG!
Artemas - yustyna
Ariana Grande - eternal sunshine
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