Ivy's Sunday Ramblings 10/05/25

Beware! Long, slice of life/boring post ahead.

Apart from necessary grocery shopping and a dash to a hardware store for a board of MDF to try to stop my broken piece of shit couch hurting my ass so much, I've otherwise been quietly staying in my apartment and keeping myself to myself. 

I bought Ghost of Yōtei and have been escaping into post-Sengoku, early Edo period Hokkaido. Had no idea going in when it was set but, being a total nerd for the Warring States era, as soon as the lead character mentioned she fought at Sekigahara my eyes lit up. But yeah, I've been loving it. Riding across grassy plains and climbing up mountains and standing in awe of the beautiful vistas is very much soothing my soul and has been a perfectly timed surrogate for an actual vacation. Hopefully it should keep me going for a while.

Before that, I started playing Ender Magnolia: Bloom in the Mist. I love me a Metroidvania and I love me some grimdark aesthetic so it was cool. Sadly, I didn't think it was total Game of the Year material like someone had mentioned, but I really liked it regardless.

I've also FINALLY managed to watch the Rush doc, Time Stands Still. It was great. Oh my god, how did I not know about the South Park intro to Tom Sawyer??? That was incredible.

On the Rush note, I stumbled elsewhere on a mention of Alex Lifeson's 90's project, Victor. Upon seeing that it had very alt 90's vibes I jumped straight into that one. My favourite Rush album is Counterparts (I said what I said) so was super happy to find that this is very much like a slightly wilder and weirder stepchild to that. Alex is so massively underrated, and for more 90's Vibe Alex I absolutely 100% recommend getting in on Envy of None - SUCH AN AWESOME BAND.

Out of curiosity, I looked into notable sufferers of BPD. Somewhat predictably, there's not really anyone who has openly come out as having it (past Pete Davidson) so that leaves a lot of speculation and guesswork. Marilyn Monroe is strongly suspected to have suffered from it, and I would be more than happy to be in the company of such an amazing, iconic, trailblazing, and dramatically misrepresented woman. Past that, some interesting speculation around some living and breathing people but I don't feel it's appropriate to get into that here.

I also looked up obscure, esoteric goddesses and discovered Akhlys, the ancient Greek primordial deity of misery, sorrow, and "the death-mist". 

For whatever reason I started rewatching the Dark Knight trilogy (hey, not like I have anywhere to be going!). I really loved The Dark Knight when I was a kid but watching it now and oh my god, the rose tinted spectacles game was extremely strong on that one! Yeah, I'll not beat around the bush; by and large the script and delivery is SO, sooo cheesy, and pretty much EVERY plot point requires some fucking Professor Xavier level of precognizance for everything to be in the exact right place at the right time to work or the whole movie would literally fall apart. To give it its dues, though, it still looks visually stunning, the cinematography is incredible, and in that respect is hands down my face of the trilogy, but otherwise it was very much another small part of my childhood tragically and comically ruined.

This week's Peacemaker hit me hard too. The scene of Chris and Harcourt on the bike made me feel fuzzy and sad, and then Chris breaking down and saying how he destroys everything he touches... yeah, that was heartbreaking on so many levels and I felt that one a lot.

Past that... ehhhhhh. I'm in weird the post-episode daze of feeling woozy and somewhat medicated. It's a feeling I like though, the slight disconnect from reality and my faculties makes me feel content and at peace. Have had random periods of not being able to speak properly, which is always equal parts fun and worrisome (what if I break like that forever?). Not gonna lie, am wondering now if I've had a mini breakdown? Honestly, after how this year has gone, I'm surprised it took this long.

Told my parents what's going on (both obviously very concerned, want me to "get help") and have obviously been keeping in touch with the girls too, so all necessary parties know the situation. I just want to be on my own for the time being, though. I'm content hibernating away in my little cocoon. Though I should probably wash my hair as I am starting to look homeless.

Currently Listening To 

Alex Lifeson - Victor

Lana Del Rey - Born to Die

Currently Playing 

Ghost of Yōtei